BALMAINIA

On Wednesday night, I managed to squeeze into the media preview of the highly-anticipated Balmain x H&M collection at the Bloor Street location, which would be available to the hoi polloi next day.

This marks the 11th collection in a line of prestigious designer collaborations with H&M, the first being in 2004 with Karl Lagerfeld. I’d missed them all except for finding some rejects from the Martin Margiela offerings at H&M’s Fifth Avenue location in New York so I was super pumped.

Balmain is a luxury label way beyond the clothing allowances of the millennial generation so the aim is that this collaboration will introduce the brand to them and make it more attainable. In fact, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing used to wait in line himself for hours to score H&M’s designer capsules as a teen so he can relate to this. 

The RSVP stressed that it was invitation only, we would be issued wristbands on a “first come first serve basis”, non-transferable, bring ID and we would be allowed to shop for a designated time period only. Do not pass “Go,” do not collect $200.

I arrived late -- but didn’t get the dregs as I expected though it was a feeding frenzy. It was a cacophony of stylists, a sprinkling of bold face and bloggers like the gold-dust twins, Cailli and Sam Beckerman. We were granted five minutes of shopping and then there was a fierce lineup at the dressing rooms so the more enterprising among us including fun gal Traci Melchor just tried on stuff in the aisles in front of mirrors. We even swapped items among us for different sizing. It was a flashback to the “do-you-want-this-it-doesn’t-work-for-me” retail camaraderie reminiscent of the old days of communal dressing rooms at Loehmann’s designer discount stores.

The highly-coveted wristband issued at the front door of H&M for entry. I could have scalped it if not for the guest list and the door whores.

After going through security and being made to queue up at the bottom of the escalator, I was warmly welcomed at the top with a vodka cocktail by affable actor/waiter Junior Williams. There were also pass-around nibbles but I don’t eat and shop. Don’t need the extra calories when you are trying to stuff yourself into suede pants.

An overview of the security at the lineup to get into the designated shopping area, which was a tighter fit than the clothing.

Here I am in total shopping mode, trying to balance a cocktail and half a dozen hangers. Not a drop of beverage was spilled though there was some shop sweat. It was mighty toasty in the crowded aisle/makeshift dressing room.

The boots, caged shoes and jewelry was pretty much sold out but I managed to snag the last cuff.

I also scored this top, which is very Kardashian. The Kardashians are poster girls for the Balmain brand, which runs “sexy, satin and skin-tight.”  Creative director Olivier Rousteing  apprenticed with Roberto Cavalli and the flamboyance aesthetic rubbed off.

An H&M staffer briefs the poor plebs lined up outside overnight to be first in line next morning to shop the collection. Apparently they’d been lined up for two days at the Eaton Centre location.

An oversized piece of graffiti depicting the eternally disapproving Lucy of Peanuts fame off King St. Note the mattress at her feet. She could lend it to the hapless Balmain fans lined up outside H&M.